One More Trip Over the Bridge

Yesterday started out like any other Saturday: slowly.  All I'd really accomplished was a run, some yoga, and a shower when around noon I received an invite to go stay with Justine over on Sausalito for the day.  Realizing this would most likely be my last trip over there, I threw some things in my trusty backpack and used my now fully-fledged public transportation skills to navigate my way across the bridge.

Justine's family just got two new King Charles puppies, and we spent the majority of the afternoon and evening cuddling, playing, and baby-talking with them.  For only being 12 weeks or so, they are very friendly and well-behaved little loves!

We did, of course, go out for dinner.  Another friend suggested checking out Sol Food, a Puerto Rican restaurant in Mill Valley.  I personally have never had Puerto Rican food before, but one look at the menu and I was sold.  I ended up getting a Cubano sandwich with fries and I can only describe it as spectacular.  It was juicy and flavorful, greasy enough to satisfy, but not unnecessarily so.  I would definitely go back any time I happen to be in Marin!

We ended the evening with some wine and Pellegrino and lime (I don't drink and just happen to have very thoughtful friends that know my alcohol-alternative drink of choice!) and chatted about life now, during school, and the upcoming year.  It's really hard to believe we've graduated and are all moving in different directions.  Justine is currently deciding between getting her Masters in Psychology at the University of Edinburgh and attending a ballet fellowship in Moscow.  Christine just signed a lease on her first solo apartment in the city and is currently working one of her dream jobs in a corporate hospitality office.  And in just three short weeks, I will be moving out of San Francisco for good, taking one last trip down to Southern California where I will begin law school in the middle of August.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that time moves incredibly quickly and that I encourage everyone to really make the most of what time you have.  Hang out with friends, explore the places around you, take pictures, laugh lots, and always eat what sounds good.  Because even though I know I will be back in the Bay Area for a visit before I know it, I still can't believe I'm leaving it and these lovely ladies behind.

And I'm really going to miss it.

Changes

The past few weeks have been an absolute blur.  First there was the flurry of final exams and papers, which mainly consisted of sleepless nights and quite a bit of last minute revisions.  I presented my senior thesis, took my last undergraduate final exam ever, and somehow managed to survive.

On top of this, it is also graduation season.  My family came into town this week, which provided its own series of challenges, namely attempting to cram far too many people into a house that has never seemed so small before.  My puppies are our constant travel companions, which also means lots of "Did they get to go outside?" and "Shh, why are you barking?"  At school, there were lots of final masses and ceremonies to attend, friends and professors to thank, and friends' parents to meet.  Overall, it's been quite the week.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I was not at all prepared for the big event itself: graduation.  I was simply living moment to moment, trying to take it all in and survive the endless to-do list.  And now that the big day has come and gone, I'm feeling tired and thankful and overwhelmed and very confused as to what to do with all this time now have.

Thanks to everyone who's come along on this journey with me.  It's been better than I ever imagined.

Happy Valentine's Day!

College Confidence: Skinny Girl Insecurities

As kind of a continuation of the last (and first) College Confidence post, today I want to talk about skinny girls.  Something I've noticed over the years is that most of the time, when we talk about body image and confidence, these discussions are always directed at larger women.  Our message for these larger women is that they should learn to embrace their curves and feel confident in their bodies, and yet there is something that we always seem to forget:

Skinny girls can be insecure, too.

I can speak from experience when I say that often, when thinner women express insecurities about their bodies, social discourse ignores them or dismisses their concerns.  Why are you complaining?  You're already skinny!

However, skinny or not, we're still women being confronted with the same body expectations and pressures.  I know that when I was in high school, I had one friend in particular who was quite a bit larger than me and obsessed with trying to be smaller.  She was always trying to diet and exercise and although she rarely complained about her body, she made it clear that she thought I wouldn't understand what she was going through because, well, I was as thin as a toothpick and a whopping 88 pounds.  She was wrong.  I was just as uncomfortable in my skinny body, precisely because it was skinny!  I thought my legs looked like toothpicks and my arms childish because I lacked any muscle definition.  I didn't enjoy wearing shorts or skirts because I felt like I was revealing my stickish body to the whole world.

Looking back on it now, I also realize that I probably suffered from food anxiety from sophomore year of high school until the end of my first year of college.  I spent a lot of time feeling guilty about being able to eat whatever I wanted while my friends were off dieting and exercising.  Every time we got together for a meal, I would eat just a little and end the day feeling hungry or eat and then immediately feel sick afterwards.  I distinctly remember asking myself after each meal I actually finished, Was that too much food?

Although this food-centered anxiety was still an issue for me when I first started college, today I am glad to say it no longer seems to be a problem.  I think the biggest thing for me was that my friend group changed and with it, the emphasis.  The friends that I've made in here in college are all fairly athletic, whether they did sports or intense dance training during high school.  Because of this, I've actually gotten into exercising myself, taking up running and yoga over the past few years.  This has also changed my outlook on the ideal body: rather than being skinny, my ideal is to be strong, and this is something that I am still working toward today.  But exercise has provided me with a healthy outlet through which I can transform my stickish-appearance into something strong.

So what I'm trying to say (in my very typical, talkative Marisa manner), is that when you go to college, you will meet girls (and boys) of all body types.  And every single one of these girls is entitled to her body-insecurities, no matter if she is fat, thin, tall, or short.  Their body-concerns are just as valid as yours, and you should try not to cheapen someone's personal feelings by ignoring or neglecting their concerns.

Think about it and pass it on.

That Stereotypical Resolution Post

Happy New Year, everyone!  It's that time again, the time to look back on the previous year and resolve to change and improve what we can.  If you remember last year's list at all, you'll know that I like to keep my resolutions fairly short and simple.  In my opinion, the longer and more complicated your list, the more likely that you'll forget about your resolutions or worse, give up.  So here we go.

1.  Remember to read for pleasure.
Last year, I definitely achieved my goal of reading more.  I didn't quite make my 50 Book Reading Challenge on Goodreads, but I did manage to read a whopping 43 books and couldn't be happier with that number.  I had almost forgotten how good it felt to read for fun, and was amazed at how much I could achieve if I took an hour or so out of my day to just read whatever I felt like.  I hope to keep this up in 2014, and if you'd like to know more of my bookish goals for the year, check out this video.

2.  Get better at keeping in contact with friends.
This is something I really suck at.  And I don't just mean friends from high school, but even my friends who live around the block.  Because I'm not someone who every really feels the need to be social, I tend to epically stink at responding to emails, text messages, Facebook invites and the like.  Ironically, I'm the best at responding via snail mail.  This year I'd like to make more of an effort to maintain contact with current and old friends because I know that this will make me a better friend in general.

3.  Exercise more regularly.
This was another resolution from last year that I actually sort of achieved.  I actually started working out and found that I really liked walking, running, hiking, and doing yoga.  Exercising on a regular basis, however, was not my strong suit.  I went through periodic spurts of exercising before slacking off.  This year, I want to try and stick to a more regular work-out schedule, because I know that it's actually something I like spending time on.

4.  Treat people the way you want to be treated.
I have always been really good about this.  I personally try to treat everyone with as much kindness, patience, and understanding as I can.  However, this year I want to extend this idea to how I treat (or talk about) people when they're not there.  This means less gossiping and talking negatively behind other's backs.  Again, just breaking myself of this habit will make me a better and more positive individual.

And now for two Internet goals:

For the Blog:  Get organized and post at least once a week.
This past couple of months, I feel like I have finally figured out what I want to be doing with this blog.  Yes, I know it only took me four years to get it together, but better late than never, right?  I will eventually have to figure out what to do with this space once I graduate (5 months, baby!!), but for now I want to focus on putting out better content more frequently.  This means getting organized, planning ahead, actually drafting posts and prepping visuals during the weekend.

I do have several things I will be sharing and talking about before the end of my undergraduate career, I am always open to post suggestions.  If you ever have a topic you'd like to see addressed here on Little Girl, feel free to leave a comment or shoot me an email.

For YouTube:  Participate actively and start more discussions.
I have been having so much fun since I joined the BookTube community on YouTube.  I've gotten to meet so many fantastic people from around the world that I otherwise would never have known.  Most excitingly, I have gotten to interact with several authors and review their books.  This resolution is a bit of a continuation of the above No. 2: I want to do a better job of maintaining interaction with both my viewers and the YouTubers that I follow in this upcoming year.  I want to keep looking at this as just another opportunity to meet like-minded people, and these relationships will require just as much upkeep as any in "real life."

I also want to do more discussion videos.  I only did one last year, but was completely stunned, overwhelmed, and pleased with the response.  I have so many ideas and bookish topics that I'd like to discuss, I don't know if I've ever been this excited about continuing a creative project.

And those are my resolutions for 2014!  What are you guys planning to work on?

Realizations from Tragedy

Hello all, on this not so pleasant occasion.  Life is crazy right now, trying to cram in paper after paper, but I could not concentrate after the frightening events today at the Boston Marathon.  So I've decided to take to the blogosphere for some soul searching.

I was in fifth grade when the towers went down on 9/11.

I remember that all my teachers were a bit tense, but I didn't really know what was going on.  After school, I was surprised to find my mom parked in the same spot she had occupied earlier that morning for drop off.  Only years later did she tell me that she went to Target to buy a battery operated radio before spending the rest of the day sitting in my school parking lot, just in case she needed to get to me in a hurry.

Unfortunately, I have lived through enough national tragedies (the latest being the horrendous school shooting in Newtown, Connecticut) that I am not rocked to the core when something awful happens.  Yes, each event makes me lose a little faith in humanity, but I never personally feel unsafe or at risk.

But today, this is different.  Today I watched a video clip of families and friends, spectators of the Boston marathon getting attacked by an explosion from the center of the crowd.  And I do feel just a little bit less safe.  Even watching as law enforcement and members of the armed forces swarmed in and quickly contained the situation, it really struck home that someone was mentally able to do this to hundreds of people and, by extension, their families.

Maybe this is my delayed realization that terrorism is a real thing that can happen to anyone, any time.  Maybe this is me finally realizing the gruesome nature of murder for no apparent reason.  But at the same time, it's instances like this that make me want to study criminal law, so that I can be a part of the system that ensures that horrible people who can commit crimes like this answer for their actions.

To all the families and victims effected, my thoughts and prayers are with you.  To those armed forces and law enforcement officers who protect us each and every day, thank you.

New Goals for the New Year

Yes, this post is a couple of days late to ring in the new year, but I've tried to really think about this. A new year is a chance to start over and push yourself to better and happier. So here is what I've come up with for 2013:

1. Read More. I've noticed that I keep seeing or hearing about books, and saying "Oh, I better add that to my list!" So this year, I'm going to actually read everything on that list! On Goodreads, I've challenged myself to read 75 books this year. We'll just have to see how close I get!

2. Write More. I am finally beginning to realize that writing is not the easy creative process that I'd like it to be. It's something that needs to be worked on, so my goal is to write a little every single day!

3. Exercise More. Whether its walking or running, just getting outside and getting moving is both healthy and a serious stress reliever. My goal is to get out there three times a week!

4. Simplify. I spent the last week or so going through everything I own and getting rid of a lot of things. This next year I plan on cutting back on things that I really don't need.

5. Look Forward. This means getting ready for life after graduation, which isn't as far away as I like to pretend. Updating my résumé, applying for internships, and studying for the LSAT are in my immediate future!

Happy 2013, everyone!  What were your resolutions?

I'll Be There For You

On this week before Christmas, I feel like my blog should be full of merriment, present and decorating ideas, and pictures of my holiday plans.  However, after the tragic massacre at Sandy Hook elementary school, I didn't feel like that was a meaningful enough use of my little piece of the Internet.

Still, I don't really know what to say.  To the families of the victims of this tragedy, I send my heartfelt wishes and prayers for the strength to get through this.  To the politicians across the country to actually do something about gun control and mental health care, I hope that you have the presence of mind to consider every side of the issue.  To the family of the gunman, Adam Lanza, I pray that you have the strength to not only take responsibility for his actions, but to weather the scorn and anger that it sure to come from many different corners.  And for all those grieving the loss of these beautiful, innocent children, just remember that you are not alone.

In the true spirit of the holiday season, we are all there for each other.

Beginning Again

I never quite know what to say in posts like this, but I do feel like I need to mark this occasion in the "blog-osphere".

Today is my 21st birthday.

Although that in itself is big, it fits into a year that is big over all.  Most of my friends are off studying abroad this year which means that I'm living off campus, and in the city, mostly on my own.  That's both exciting for me and a bit intimidating.  I'm having to find the perfect balance between being alone and not being lonely.  So far it's been going well, but I'm sure I'll have my ups and downs throughout the year.  I really feel that this is the perfect backdrop for such a big birthday, because I really feel more independent and capable as a person this year.

I can only really thank God for allowing me to reach my stride and allow everything to fall into place.  Oh, and my amazing family who welcomed me home for by birthday weekend.  I returned to a sweltering Southern California for a couple of days for some filming with my brother (which I hope I can show you soon!), some shopping with my mom, and lots of pasta!

I finished up a knitting project while I was there, stuffing this cable pillow that my mom had specifically requested.  We finished up the weekend with dinner on Balboa Island and frozen banana's afterwards.

So basically I feel like I'm starting a new phase of my life, as an adult (whatever that means).  I'm sure I'll get the hang of it, eventually.  But until then, I'm glad that I have the amazing family and friends that I do to support and push me in the right direction.

Home for the Holidays

Well, I made it through the first semester of my sophomore year!  I flew home on Friday, and have been enjoying (slightly) warmer and sunnier weather.  Christmas preparations are well under way: tree and house decorating, menu planning, last minute shopping, and choir practices.  And, before it gets too late, I thought I would share some pictures from my last couple weeks in San Francisco, exploring the docks of Sausalito.

Wishing you wonderful holiday preparations.

Blink, And It's Over

I cannot believe that this year has gone by so quickly! And yet here we are, in my final days of freshman year. I guess you could say that, because I am done with work and finals, my year is already over. But I don't know if I'm ready to let it go yet.

When I originally started this blog, I said that I wanted to chronicle my adventures and musings. What I didn't plan on capturing was how much I would change this year. If you go back to my earliest posts, you can see that I was an entirely different person, timid, quick to judgment, and generally unsure about my place in the world. While I think it would be a little much to say that I have my entire life figured out, I do feel good about pointing out how much I've changed. If there is one thing I've learned in my first year of college, it's that you need to go with the flow. Even the best laid plans can fall through, as I've discovered on multiple occasions this year, and when they do you have to be able to laugh it off and go with it. But at the same time, you can't get completely swept away; you need to take responsibility for your own life. Maybe this is what being an adult is all about: taking charge of your life when possible, and recognizing when you have to just let everything go.

The next few days will be a whirlwind of laundry, packing, and taking down my wall of color. Although I didn't quite cover the entire wall, I got pretty darn close to it. I can't wait until next year to start my next collection in my new room! Thankfully, my grandparents are letting me store some stuff at their house over the summer, so my dad and I will be driving home with a significantly lightened load. We're staying for the Giants vs. Athletics game this Friday, and should be on our way home Saturday morning.

I fully intend to continue posting throughout the summer, despite the fact that the adventures will be taking place in a Southern California beach town rather than the big city of San Francisco. I am actually terribly behind on posting pictures of things like my trip to the Mission District, Chinatown, Rio Vista, and my first every Bay to Breakers, so I will have plenty to talk to you all about. Keep checking back for the forgotten adventures of freshman year!

Thank you all for coming on this journey of my first year at college with me. It's been quite the experience, hasn't it?

Jane Eyre

Being the eager English majors that we are, last night Justine and I went to a late showing of the new film adaption Jane Eyre, starring Mia Wasikowska. Having just read the book for one of our English classes, we were eager to see what this new film adaption would bring to the table. Unfortunately, I was sorely disappointed in what we saw.

Don't get me wrong, the film is truly beautiful and moving. The acting is amazing, and the costuming, location, props... all of it was just right. However, because I consider myself fairly well aquatinted with Charlotte Bronte's book Jane Eyre, I cannot say that it was a good film adaption. The movie left out so many vital parts of the book, while portraying Jane in such a weak and dependent way that it actually changed the meaning of the story.

Now, having said that, I don't discourage you from going to see it, especially if you have read the book. I would be very interested to get other people's opinions on this adaption. Although you may wince at the somewhat butchered plot, the acting will pull at your heartstrings. If you haven't read the book, I also encourage you to see the movie, but I would hope that you would not judge the book based on what you see on screen.

On a final note, we are coming up on the end of the semester, which means lots and lots of work. I have two finals and four research papers in the next two weeks, which means my presence here will be very scarce. But never fear, as soon as I get a free moment I will write another post. I have loads of pictures I haven't yet shared with you all!

Positivity

Happy weekend, everyone! The past couple of days or so have been a blur of fun, sun, and relaxing. San Francisco experienced a slightly heat wave (or maybe it was just a rise in temperatures) last week, and as such my friends and I spent every possible second outside. We even donned our bathing suits and trekked to Golden Gate Park (which is much closer than the beach) for a little bit of tanning. While there,  Justine and I decided to romp around in the vegetation, and it left me feeling invigorated and alive! Nature tends to do that for me. 

Last night, the campus hosted a small concert of mostly "indie bands" in one of our gyms. I decided to actually do something on a Friday night and go with a small group of my friends. It turns out that the concert had started at four o'clock that afternoon, and we had missed the majority of it. Luckily, we made it just in time for the headlining group Augustana to perform. After experiencing their attractiveness and great music for myself, I would definitely recommend checking out their new album. I know I plan to download it!

So, I'm sure some of you are wondering about the title of this post. Being out in the sun has not only made me tanner, but it has altered my mentality on life slightly. I couldn't believe how much happier I was getting off campus and being in the park for just a few hours. Combining this with my thoughts about Lent (the liturgical season that the Catholic Church is currently in), I decided that I needed to make some positive changes in my living habits. This means wasting as little time as possible and actually being productive when I do work. I also plan on getting up a bit earlier to go on a walk at least a couple times a week. I did it today, and I've been much more energetic and happy. See, positive change!

Is there anything you can do/change to make your life more positive?

Distracted Musings

I really should be doing homework right now (I have tons of reading to do!), but I just can't concentrate. And I'm not trying to procrastinate, for once. I have my book all set, sitting beside me right now, but every time I open it my mind just starts to wander.

This distraction problem has gotten worse lately, particularly since I have been using the Internet more frequently. It doesn't matter what if I am listening to music, using Twitter, Facebook... the Internet is simply very distracting!

Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those people who feels that the distraction needs to be eliminated and that we should all go back to the days of snail mail and other low-tech forms of communication. I see endless possibilities for the future, and I fully believe that the Internet will allow us to do things that have never been done before. We can talk with someone around the world instantly, share words, photos, and memories with the click of a mouse. What about that does not just ring with hope and promise?

Until then, we just have to learn to live with the distraction, busy college students in particular.

New Semester and New Years Resolutions

I'm back in the city by the bay for a new semester. I'm missing being home already, but the sunny weather is making the transition a little bit easier. Here are some photos from my last few days at home.

I've brought with me a few New Years Resolutions, and I'm off to a surprisingly good start! I've resolved to get back to being more environmentally friendly. That means I've pulled out my old, personalized canteen so that I can cut back on my water bottle use. I'm trying to be better about using canvas shopping bags, but when I end up with paper bags, I'm making an effort to reuse them as trash bags. All the little things I do (plus not owning and driving a car) will help make a difference.

My other resolutions include getting rid of my bad habit of chewing my nails, and getting into the habit of writing more. Oh, yes, and paying my blog a little bit more attention.

Here's to new beginnings!

Adventures on Haight

After weeks and weeks of hard work, my friend Christine and I decided we needed to get off of campus for a while and reconnect with the amazing city around us. So we took a little gander down Haight Street, equipped with jackets, umbrellas, and our cameras. We saw stopped in a few little stores, including an art shop where I purchased a cheap sketchbook and various markers. And after seeing so much amazing graffiti and street art on Haight, I cannot wait to get down my own ideas.

Because we were feeling adventurous, and because the rain had finally stopped, we decided to keep going down Haight until we got bored.

We ended coming upon Buena Vista Park, which is essentially a large hill covered in trees. Being curious about how good the view of the city would be from the top of the hill, we decided to go on a little hike.

We climbed up and up... but in the end, it wasn't the multiple staircases or trails that made our ascent to the top rather slow. The park was so beautiful, we just couldn't stop taking pictures!

And at the top, as we were getting blown side to side by the wind and the sky was threatening rain, we decided that it was well worth the walk. San Francisco truly is a beautiful city.

We got back to campus just before the rain hit. We then sat together in Christine's room, cozy under a couple of blankets, comparing photos and watching lightening light up the sky. By the time I finally went to bed, the wind was howling through the buildings on campus, the rain was going vertically at my window, and the trees were swaying violently in the wind. It would have been scary if I hadn't been feeling so thankful for being alive and where I am at.

At the end of the week, it will be Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for?

Reflections in the Hall

The living community I belong to has a Catholic mass every Tuesday. Tonight, the presiding priest ended the mass with this lovely little poem by Richard Wilbur. I thought I'd just share it with all of you.

Right now, while we are finishing up some homework, my roommate and I are also waiting up with the girl next door. Her roommate has started making a habit of bringing random soccer boys back to their room late at night, and then kicking her out of the room. This roommate has been occupied by her current boy for two and a half hours now. The most disturbing part? They left the door somewhat open, but we're all too scared to touch it.

Quite frankly, we just want to be there when the guy goes staggering back to his room. But at this rate we're going to fall asleep way before they call it quits!

I wish you all a lovely rest of the week.